Hello:It Is Me

About

Some things are better written than being said

-Fairouz Elbarakawy

Hello there, I am back again with a surprise you all had been asking for. As I usually get this question “where can I find all your writings?”, and because I love seeing you enjoy reading my work; I decided to start my very first blog. This blog will contain all of my poems ever since I started my journey. You will find them written on this blog along with my personal anecdotes, and because I really want you to get to know me more as a person, I will make sure this blog interferes with me in a whole personal range. This will help us have a more close and engaging tie-up with lots of fun ;I firmly believe that it would help you and me in getting closer and be friends.

I hope you will enjoy unlocking and discovering what my life is like with and without the typical author style.

Lots of love, Fairouz

Loved You First: Sequel of A Hopeful Romantic

My Books

People would say that heartbreak can be the reason for someone’s death, and honestly, I can’t agree more. Heartbreak can come from the closest people to you. In the 19 years of my endless fails of making one lasting friendship, I learned that I have to meet the wrong people to know the right ones. Loved You First illustrates how I did not love myself enough and had always thought that having someone that can love me will be the best solution. Little did I know at the time, that love doesn’t fix what you miss within yourself. I knew so many toxic, wrong people. I was with people I should not be with. I always had this hole in my heart and that urge to belong somewhere. I did not think of any kind of person I should be with.

Soulmates are not just lovers; they are friends too. You can always start again no matter how much ache and pain you have seen and felt. You are a golden fish who can always swim no matter how cold or warm the water is. You don’t need to forgive to forget if it has been always that way. People come in your space for a lesson or fate, so don’t mind chasing having a place to belong in. Love comes when you are not looking for it.

Not to waste your time, even more, my book is going to be on Amazon soon by the collaboration with yellowscribepublishings. Currently it is available on Wattpad and Scribd:

https://www.wattpad.com/story/226840353-loved-you-first

One last thing:

Don’t be with someone that makes you feel confused or questioning yourself. Don’t look over the subtitles or the recognition. Look for those people who can make you heal mentally, emotionally, and even intellectually.

Challenges of Writers

Blogs

Writers are artists who create worlds in which people can drown. But while they might be magicians who seem to create fantastic stories out of thin air, they have their own set of problems too. In fact, some of these problems are quite unique to writers while others are more generic. Here are the biggest challenges writers face and their solutions. 

Editing while writing 

The problem: The temptation to go back to the previous day’s work and edit it until it is perfect is overwhelming. The problem with this is that a scene would never be perfect because you can always think of new things to add or delete. 

The solution: Develop the habit of continuing where you left off first thing when you sit down to work. Once you get caught up with what you are currently writing, you will be able to leave the previous work alone. 

Never-ending research 

The problem: Research is important. Extensive research is even better. But there is only so much time you can devote to research because you have a book to write. Getting mired in research you will never use is a huge problem. 

The solution: Try to devote actual time for specific research. Seek out reputed sources for your research so you can get it finished without spending all your time on it. 

In love with your work 

The problem: You enjoyed creating a character and filling him or her with all your cherished attributes. Now you are sitting and wondering if it is too good to be true. Then there are all those scenes, which don’t really fit into the story but you don’t want to let go of them. 

The solution: Find an editor who will help you with a more balanced perspective. What’s more, listen to this person, because you really need some distance from your work. 

Not being taken seriously 

The problem: Writing is not considered a serious career by most people. Leave alone your friends, random strangers might come across as condescending to hear about your full-time or part-time work. It can be frustrating and seriously disheartening. 

The solution: There is no alternative but to let the rudeness roll off your back. Maybe you could point out they are being rude, or alternatively disparage their profession. That should shut them up 

Overwriting 

The problem: You simply seem unable to stop writing even when the point of that particular piece has been long explained and done with. You are bursting not just with ideas, but also with words that seem to just spill out. 

The solution: Find an editor, preferably a ruthless editor who will cut down on the size of your work to a more readable level. You can be sure your readers don’t want to read a filler of a novel! 

Not enough time to write 

The problem: With a full time job, a partner, and children, you might not find making the time to write seriously very easy. Everything seems to eat into your writing time. 

The solution: While it is important to earn money and give time to your relationships, you must steel yourself to miss out on some relaxation. Be disciplined and organize your schedule to fit in everything you need to do. Waking up early in the morning and getting a good bit of writing done is a great way to start the day. 

Negative feedback 

The problem: You have written a book into which you have poured out all your heart, time, energy, and then someone comes along and writes a nasty review on Amazon or Goodreads. You feel tempted to respond with a defense, telling them why they are wrong. 

The solution: If you are sensitive to negative feedbacks, it is best to not read these reviews at all. It is wise not to respond to any review, positive or negative. Also, please don’t give five stars to your own book just because no one else has done so! 

Dealing with rejection 

The problem: So you have written the best book you can write and want to share it with the world. You seek out publishers but get constantly rejected. This can lead to frustration and depression. 

The solution: Fortunately, there is more than one way to get your work across to your readers. Consider self-publishing to put your first book out there. If you manage to get a decent readership, publishers will be happy to give you a second chance. Hiring a good agent also helps in getting your book noticed by publishers. 

 Social media 

problem: If you are self-publishing, you really need to put yourself out there and do a lot of marketing on social media. But Twitter and Facebook can gobble up your time and before you know it, the entire day is gone. 

The solution: Devote a couple of hours every day specifically for marketing and catching up with fans. If you really enjoy hanging out online, then use it as a reward to yourself for completing the day’s work. 

Plagiarism 

The problem: This is a serious problem that many writers face, especially today when the internet is a melting pot of everything ever conceived of by humanity. 

The solution: Drop an email to the concerned person and ask them to remove their work from circulation. If they fail to do so, then consider taking legal action. You have worked hard at your book and there is no reason why someone else should take credit for it. 

Multiple projects 

The problem: You are busy with several projects at the same time, and then you get ideas for yet another book and you are forced to wonder whether you will ever finish a book. 

The solution: The answer is discipline. While it is great to start new projects, don’t be the writer who never finishes a project. Organize your time so that you continue to work on your main current project, but you can continue to make notes for your future projects. 

The Reality of Entrepreneurship and Start-up

Blogs

Entrepreneurship is the concept that someone manage a business and take several risks in the corporate world to gain profit. Yet entrepreneurship doesn’t stop on business building, it can  be for passion projects as well.  So sometimes it is called willingness to start a new business either for profit or not.

Some of the famous entrpeneurs:

Oprah Winfery

J.K. Rowling

Steve Jobs

Walt Disney

Now with the reality of startup:

  1. You are on a roller coaster:  It’s like being in an open car down a steep road, navigating turns and bends. The best highs and the most abysmal lows too. Yes you will have sleepless nights but they help you savor your victories even more  
  2. Peer learning is important: This is something most people don’t talk about. Meeting other entrepreneurs and interacting with them helps you gain insights from those who have been there and done that. There is no greater school in life than experience .
  3. Networking: A strong network can be the wind beneath your wings. Building referrals and your business network helps build contacts, raises your profile and throws open new opportunities.
  4. Mentors are necessary: Mentorship from seasoned industry experts and consultants is unparalleled. It can accelerate scale up and solve interruptions breathing a fresh lease of life into a tottering startup.Mentors are necessary: Mentorship from seasoned industry experts and consultants is unparalleled. It can accelerate scale up and solve interruptions breathing a fresh lease of life into a tottering startup.
  5. Your team matters: The best ideas can get lost in the sands of time if not backed by a stellar team. A capable team coupled with the right chemistry is a winning formula and one that even investors seek out and favor in the pre-seed funding rounds.
  6. You will don many hats: There is blood, sweat and toil behind the entrepreneurial success stories and smiling faces in the news. To get there, you too will be juggling the roles of CFO, COO, CMO and more, rolling up your sleeves and getting your hands dirty without taking it easy. Working harder than ever before must become a way of life.
  7. Tenacity and persistence are superpowers to cultivate: Most startups fail within the first 5 years. The statistics might seem dis-heartening but keep pushing the seemingly solid walls and your tenacity and persistence are sure to pay off.
  8. Communities are great: Communities can be a great knowledge sharing platform helping you share and learn from the journey and struggles of others.
  9. You will fail: If you do not taste failure then you are not trying everything. Not all your plans will succeed. Not all ideas will be gold. 
  10. There is no set road. Look ahead and begin afresh every day.

Kiss My Soul : Dairy Talk

Diaries

Staying at home for someone like me isn’t healthy, but I do always find a way to stay sane and not end my life. This text message from a friend of mine ruined the whole “temporary” calm mood for me.

“Are you still single? Didn’t date anyone yet? You should be probably with someone right now as we are bored.”

And did I reply? No, I didn’t.

Here is something I genuinely wanna talk about: I am not the one, and I will never be the “one.” I always feel like I am the one before the real one. I have always been asked why I don’t date or why I am not currently in a relationship, or have I ever experienced love. I have been in a relationship, and it left the worst image of love in my head. My ex used me to gain popularity and attention from people around me because I was one of the most popular students in our high school, but that’s not the actual reason. The real reason is I feel I don’t want to commit to anyone. I don’t want to stick to a routine that I know I can’t handle at the moment.  I barely care for my mental health conditions, and I don’t have enough energy to care about someone else’s emotions and problems. I want to be his sister and friend before being his wife. Yes wife, because I do not have time to waste over spams of PDA. 

I remember one time a friend said to me “You take things too seriously when stuff like that shouldn’t be taken like that,” “You need to chill and be a female for a while.”

I see it and view it and respectfully want it that way. If you want me, you have to accept it. Things like that should never be taken less than serious; at the end of the day; I am not the kind of a girl who wants to be on the teenage girl drama magazines. That’s not me,

I would rather be on the TIME 100 magazine.

I genuinely want to say I wish I have someone I can call mine, but when is the right time? I don’t know. It hurts me way too much when people tell me “how are you still single!” As if I killed their sibling or something. It is not fun and games for me. It is something I need but couldn’t find the one who would match up with me. 

I am a 19-year-old girl who knows nothing about love, but I certainly feeling things toward human beings (men). I would love to talk to someone ( a male) about my life and how things are going and have the same mutual feeling and communication back; this never happened to me yet. I wish I really can talk to someone instead of my mom. I wish to be with someone who views me as a human, not a curvy body or beautiful eyes. I wish someone would kiss my soul and not my lips. 

So if you ask me am I happy being single? The answer is yes, I am. As long as I am not hurting anyone; I am better off this way. I don’t want to play with someone’s heart, because karma is a bitch. I want to leave a good memory and not a heartache.

For people who are getting into relationships because you are bored, trust me, someday you will blame yourself, and everything else for wasting your time masturbating through video calls, or flirting through text messages. Love isn’t a tennis ball to throw away whenever you want to, but love isn’t fatal either. 

You choose what love is to you. 

Kindness changed my life : Dairy Talk

Blogs

So as we all can agree that 2020 is seriously a joke that we can’t laugh at, I figured out a way to make this year special even with the pandemic we are. This year is not about me. This year is not about how successful or popular I will be. This year I resolve to give what I have with no expectations. I can still recall that I said this year I won’t set goals and I will go with the flow; that is exactly what I did. I don’t have a goal this year. I have a heart that feels and a mind that wants to share what it has to afford. I decided this year is all about doing projects and volunteering work, with no money as a reward. I don’t want money or recognition; I want to see young adults succeed before I do. I don’t care anymore what my status is on social media. I genuinely care about how those young adults can rise through the hard times and competitions they are facing. 

I am planning a very good project, and I am sure it will help all those who deserve recognition for their work. I also decided each month I will volunteer in any organization and help them with my business skills, critical thinking, and innovation. My friends keep wondering why I do this, especially when I don’t ask for money. “other people doing your job are getting the money.” “You should be using this as an opportunity,” I said to them: Do you know the opportunity I am seeking? Happy faces on strong, independent, and young content creators as well as entrepreneurs. I won’t say I have enough skills that can be beneficial, but I have the determination to learn something new every day. It is a part of any CEO’s daily routine; it is a critical and vital part of mine too. I think that opportunities aren’t always financially beneficial or recognized publicly. 

I grew up having a hard time and a very small fanbase. I always get criticism before praise. Always had a bad reputation, and no one helped me, they just made it worse. I had a hard time proving to everyone, and myself, who I am, what I do, and what I want to be. It was never easy, and to this day, I find it hard to be myself. I always wanted an ear to listen, eyes to see the real me, and a heart to feel. 

Unfortunately, I did not find anyone. I had to be everything for myself. I had to deal with all the bullying and act like I did not care, although it was slowly killing me. I never understood why people would hate me, especially since I am genuinely alright as a person. But did that make me grow up and do this to people? No, I did not. I turned the misery I had been going through into a legendary path. Most of the organizations I worked in and will work in have CEOs that are not supported. They are mentally drained but so passionate about their project. And I can’t tolerate seeing someone with a vision but with a lost soul. 

Being kind has changed my life a lot. Since I’ve started to share my time, energy, and skills; my life had been the best, even in the worst of times. Helping people is a thing I believe I grew up with, especially since I was always unidentified since I was very young. It’s beautiful when I wake up to a message from a girl who used to be in my English Course in March; an English course for beginners and intermediates that explored grammar, public speaking, and writing contexts. She said that I helped her a lot, and I am talented for simplifying things no matter how hard they got.  It is even more beautiful when people requested to have a mixed group so I can share my knowledge within a wider scope and help both genders. Let me tell you boys in my university don’t necessarily like me, so this was suspiring. Whenever I get sad, I re-read those messages and ask myself “ are you done or do you want more?” The answer is always “I want more.” I want to explore and give my hands to those who have a vision of changing society’s limitations and old-fashioned criteria. Age is nothing but a number I always say this to CEOs I work beside. There is no “right time.” The right time is when the idea is born in an unexpected headspace. 

Kindness costs me zero dollars but gives me the purpose to live every day.

Before I fall : BookReview

BookReviews

Have you ever asked yourself what your last day would look like? Have you wondered what the memory you want to leave after your last goodbye is? Have you ever wondered what your next day would be like? And one last question: “If someone asks you about your happiest memories in life right now, what would it be?”.

All those questions crossed Samantha on a seemingly normal day for the protagonist, popular 17-year-old Samantha “Sam” Kingston. On February 12, known as “Cupid’s Day”, Sam carries out the day like normal with her three best friends, Elody, Lindsay, and Ally. That night, she attends the party of Kent McFuller, an unpopular boy at their high school who used to be her best friend, but whom Sam now treats badly despite them both knowing he has feelings for her.  Moreover, Juliet Sykes, a girl who’s bullied by Sam and her friends, shows up at the party and calls Sam and her friends “bitches”, who react by pouring alcoholic beverages on her, calling her names, and shoving her around. Juliet runs out of the house. Later that night, Sam and her friends are driving home when, at 12:39AM, there’s a “flash of white” and the car veers off the road and crashes into a tree. Sam dies.

Such a tragic, overwhelming ending; but it is such an awakening, beautiful book to read one thousand times (as I did). Here is what awoke me:

  1. “So many things become beautiful when you really look.”
  2. “A good friend keeps your secrets for you. A best friend helps you keep your own secrets.”
  3. “It’s funny, isn’t it? When you are young you just want to be old, and then later you wish you could go back to being a kid.”
  4. “The whole point of growing up is learning to stay on the laughing side.”
  5. “Things change after you die, though, I guess because dying is the loneliest thing you can do.”
  6. “It strikes me how strange people are. You can see them every day, you can think you know them and then you found out you hardly knew them at all.”
  7. “Hope keeps you alive.”
  8. “Some things are better left buried and forgotten.”
  9. “Nobody ever said life was fair.”
  10. “If you cross a line and nothing happens, the line loses meaning.”
  11. “It’s Connecticut: being like the people around you is the whole point.”
  12. “You should only fall in love with people who will fall in love with you back.”
  13. “Everyone just wasting time because they have so much of it to waste, minutes slipping by on who’s with who and did you hear.”

As you can conclude, everything changes in the blink of an eye when she dies in a car crash but then magically wakes up to find herself reliving the same day over and over again. As Samantha tries to untangle the mystery of a life derailed, she must also unravel the secrets of the people closest to her and discover how the power of a single day can make a difference.

Trail and Error: Quarantine Edition

Blogs

Staying in this quarantine is making me make unpredictable decisions. What’s new? I am an impulsive person anyway. But for real, my notes have been filled with some good and well-written experience surprisingly.

As everyone pretty much knows me, I am an extra active person and a workaholic. Apart from that, I rant a lot about my work schedule and my life overall. Even though I immediately jump into anything new. What’s new?

I have been working in different places now, which was beautiful, yet very very toxic. It was a badass move to be multitasking within six jobs as I did. From Editor in Chief to Marketing & Project Manager in a very big publishing organization and the other organizations meant a great deal to me, and I can’t lie about that. It was really fun at the beginning that I was everywhere like a virus (yes I was) until I realized how draining it was. I did not sleep. I used to stay awake for days to catch up with the emails and editing and clients who never stop calling and asking. It was cool until I was slowly getting sad day after day. 

I had a very hard decision to make, and I didn’t know what to do about it: which position should I leave? I had asked myself this question for two weeks, and each time I felt my heart actually ache. I was attached to the places I worked in virtually, and I couldn’t stand leaving them. I asked some friends who didn’t help me at all, that’s something I realized in the quarantine too. I am in the wrong group of friends. I am with people who don’t understand me, and I don’t fit in with them. It was tough to me when it did hit me that I am actually with the wrong people this whole damn time. Something about this quarantine will make me grow up mentally faster than I am supposed to do. 

Anyway, I decided to leave five organizations, and stay in one in which I am the Advertising/Recruitment Manager & a Project Manager too. You will ask me why I left five and stayed specifically in this one. The reason I chose this one is that I did something pretty much important and no one told me about, but I figured a way out to choose the right decision. I evaluated the six organizations, and I looked at which one I was genuinely expressing myself in and where I truly felt like myself. Which one I was comfortably doing my work and which one I forced myself to do the work. In which one am I speaking out loud and being appreciated for it rather than being declined. Where I genuinely express my skills, and where I feel like I am in a bird’s cage.

It turns out that all five of the organizations didn’t offer me the job I was willing to commit to, and neither did I feel appreciated nor comfortable enough to illustrate everything I want to share. I am now working full time in this one organization, and I am looking forward to learning more skills and gaining more experience in this company. I must admit my work now is getting harder by the minute(not even by the day), but I feel like this is where I want to spread throughout. This is the place I want to share and show who I am and what I can do. 

It is all about trying the wrong things to know the right ones.

A Sunflower

Poems

Been sitting on the couch,

So away from everyone

Yet close to a glass window, alone

Hearing those voices,

Of gossips and stories

But didn’t really get a chance,

To join any of all

It is like being the only sunflower,

Between roses and green leaves

No one really gets how or why,

So bright you can be

Or when tiny you would feel

Probably in the wrong place?

I don’t know

But something about this space,

Makes me feel unknown and small

No matter what I show,

I get to be a stranger after all

Searching for a décor,

To escape from, and be on my own

Through book pages and poetry lines,

Doing some things,

So I would be busy all the time

And that’s not me,

I don’t belong here

And I won’t ever be real

To anyone or myself,

So sad to hear

And harder, when there is no heal

Any warmhearted seal?

To share with my big plans

And what I am changing to be.

Vlog: A Day In My Life

Blogs

This article is like a vlog of my life except it is written. So as far as I can tell everyone is happy with the quarantine and it is a big trend now on social media. Humans never fail to make anything go viral. Thousands of influencers and content creators are happily filming day in my life vlogs in self-quarantine. To me though, this is not the best time, and I have been getting severely depressed because (1) the news is always about the world ending and (2) because I am home and I cannot tolerate my own family. 

As the only daughter in my family, it is disturbing to me. Not seeing my close friends is a big deal to me. I am not allowed to do what I want to do. I have always watched anything. I have to take care of my baby brother, and not to mention I have to sleep late (boring family gatherings) and yet wake up way early to finish my work and studying. I believe by now you might sympathize with me, but I have got good news for you: I am still figuring it out, but I have put together a list of things that I believe would both reduce your anxiety and boredom as it did mine.

I always seek to improve myself and elevate my skills, and this led me to enroll into three different websites for free courses: ‘Google Digital Garage’, ‘Alison’, and ‘TheBigKnow.’  They not only changed the way I used to think, but they also motivated me to work harder and made my mental state way better. Next, I watch some motivating and inspirational Ted Talks. Of course, I do not want to talk about my depressive phase, but these videos did help me a lot through it. Third, I started working on my next book and am having the best (sort of) time in my life. My point here is, whatever it is that you’ve wanted to do for so long, start doing it now.

Fourth, re-clean your room as much as you can (wardrobe, shelves, and even your makeup tools too). It is a fact that when you deep clean your room two times a month, it lessens the negative energy in your surroundings.  Fifth, it might be too lame but if you have acne like me, try out new homemade masks, and figure what is suiting your skin. Furthermore, try to enroll into online volunteer organization so you can see what might suit you later on, for instance, social media manager, content editor, content writing, or see what positions they do have that might suit you. Always use the skills you have to help someone else. At some point in our lives, we have to give freely without expecting something in return. You can also start teaching courses online (for free!) in what you find yourself talented in and capable enough to help someone. I am currently teaching an English course for beginners and intermediate student who want to learn how to write and speak fluently. One last thing that keeps me sane is journaling when I wake up immediately. It helps me to calm down and release the anger I have in this current situation. It doesn’t have to be Grammarly right at all. It is not going to the White House, so don’t worry about any mistakes.

As much as I hate this sentence, and am tired of hearing it, stay home, wash your hands, and avoid encountering elderly, so they don’t get infected because of you. You might be a carrier of the virus, and you can bear it, but others cannot and will not be able to survive. Keep both the people you love and yourself in mind before taking any decision; so they and you can live longer. Thank you for tuning in to my vlog, don’t forget to leave a like and a comment, you know I love meeting new people.